Best femme fatales

The femme fatale; a staple of fiction and storytelling dating back to pretty much the beginning. As long as there have been brave, powerful men there have been women who have been capable of taking them down using cunning, guts and smoldering sexuality. They can be found in nearly every corner of literature there is: ancient Greek myth, the works of Shakespeare, even the Bible. History is also littered with the deeds of actual women who fit the trope.

Some are outright villains, using their unique skillset to corrupt good men, start wars and frame others for their deeds. The other kind is a little more ambiguous. They may appear to be evil, or at the very least self-serving, but at the core of it all, they're actually on the side of good, even if their methods are questionable.

This list includes examples of both types, with points being awarded for ambition, deviousness, sexual potency and overall style.

5. Clytemnestra
The daughter of Spartan royalty and half-sister (depending on how you look at it) of the Most Beautiful Woman in the World, Helen, Clytemnestra may not have gotten all the beauty genes but she definitely got all the crazy. But maybe that's not being fair as the event that truly kicked off all her ruthless behaviour was the sacrifice of her daughter, Iphegenia. Said daughter was sacrificed in order to attain the needed winds to get the Greek fleet moving after declaring war on Troy. If you know your Greek myths, then you know this was a result of Paris stealing Helen away with him. Her husband, Menelaus, turned to his brother, Agamemnon, to command the Greek army to get her back. After having no luck with the winds to get the ships on their way, Agamemnon sacrificed his own daughter, thus pissing off his wife quite a bit. Get all that? Good.

The Trojan War lasted ten years and then the journey back to Greece took some time as well. During this time Clytemnestra conducted an affair with Agamemnon's cousin, Aegisthus, while she plotted her husband's demise. Apparently she hated him even before the sacrifice of Iphegenia as he had murdered her first husband and forced her into marrying him. So Agamemnon finally comes back from Troy, with hot little Cassandra in tow as his concubine and Clytemnestra makes her move and stabs him to death in the bath.

This left Aegisthus as the new king with Clyemnesta as queen. They ruled happily for awhile but eventually she's murdered by one of her own sons in a power move. Like mother, like son.

4. Phyllis Dietrichson
The realm of film noir is filled to the brim with femme fatales - they're a major staple of the genre. So picking just one was terribly difficult. But I think I made the right choice here.

The introduction of Phyllis Dietrichson in the 1944 classic Double Idemnity remains an extremely memorable scene in American cinema. It has most of the hallmarks of a film noir scene - the shadows of drawn shades are visible in the dim lighting, and a seemingly innocent conversation plants the seeds for not only an intense attraction but also a diabolical plot. She appears calm and cool and doesn't do or say anything overtly flirtacious and yet Neff is certainly left with a firm impression.

Phyllis's motives soon become clear and her seduction, both through the lure of money and her own sexuality, escalates. At first Neff wants no part in a murder plot but very quickly he succumbs. Shortly thereafter a formerly good man has become a murderer. Once the victim's daughter becomes a potential problem, Phyllis displays no qualms about knocking her off as well. She's proven herself to be quite the ruthless character. In fact, it's strongly implied that she had murdered her husband's first wife - and the girl's (Lola) mother - to get to where she is. But wait! There's more!

It turns out Phyllis has also been using her feminine wiles on the girl's own boyfriend and is still involved with him at the time of her partnership with Neff. It's only once he finds out this detail that Neff finally realizes just what a monster the woman he's become involved with is. Once confronted, she promptly lies (presumably) and when this doesn't work, shoots Neff. It's not a fatal wound and Neff comes on and manages to get the gun away from her. She insists her love for him is genuine, citing her inability to fire again as proof. But at this point Neff isn't buying it and he shoots her twice, killing her. But the damage is done. Neff will soon bleed out, an innocent man is dead and a girl has now lost both her parents. All because of one lousy dame's greed.

3. Morgan le Fay
Cunning sorceress of the Arthurian Legend, Morgan le Fay is a femme fatale of the Middle Ages whose legacy of villainy and manipulation is still well-known today, if through differing accounts.

In most versions of her story, le Fay is said to be the half-sister of Arthur as they share the same mother. But as to her personality and motives, that seems to vary somewhat depending on what you read.  Some of the earliest stuff portrays her as an ally to Arthur, who uses her powers to be a great healer. It's in the French Lancelot-Grail that her character becomes much more complex and interesting. Here she's an antagonist of Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table and uses her magic and powers of manipulation to defeat them. In Thomas Malory's famed le Morte d'Arthur it's actually she who throws Excalibur's special scabbard into the lake after a failed attempt to steal the legendary blade.

She also figures prominently in tales of Charlemagne as an enchantress and seductress, sometimes aiding the heroes by testing them and others opposing them more directly.

Her name and many of her character traits have endured over the centuries and she's been used again and again in various works of fiction including the Marvel and DC universes, many movies based on the Arthur Legend and even the anime Ah! My Goddess. Throughout it all she's remained a femme fatale of the highest order.

2. Ada Wong
The only special operative I'm aware of who likes to go on missions in a slinky party dress, Ada Wong might be mistaken for an antiheroine as opposed to femme fatale, if not for the fact that she drips sexuality.

She first appears in Resident Evil 2 in Leon's scenario and it quickly becomes apparent that there's more to her than she's letting on. But if you're a gamer who pays attention you'll know that she is actually mentioned in the first Resident Evil (set in 1998), in a letter written by a dying Umbrella researcher named John. She'd used her considerable feminine charms to convince John to try to steal secrets from his employers. Ada requires information to pass on to her own employers - referred to only as "The Organization". He is among the infected during the first T-Virus outbreak in the Spencer Mansion in the Arclay Mountains outside Raccoon City and in his letter, pleads Ada to destroy the mansion and expose Umbrella's actions to the public. Unfortunately, the letter never reaches her.

Months later, during the outbreak in Raccoon City, Ada is sent by the same unnamed organization to try to steal a sample of the new G Virus from the secret Umbrella lab beneath the city amongst the chaos. It is here that we first see her, confronting her as Leon. Her story is that she's looking for her boyfriend, "John", whom she claims is a journalist. Her agenda is eventually exposed but she still displays heroism by saving Leon, which in turn, helps him rescue Claire Redfield and Sherry Birkin.

Spinoff titles give us a little more info on what she was doing during RE2 and she next plays a major role in Resident Evil 4 (taking place in 2004), once again working against the game's main antagonists (this time Saddler and the Los Illuminados cult) but with goals separate from, and sometimes counter to, Leon's. Once again she proves helpful but still self-serving. Her flirting with Leon is really amped up this time around and her skills as an operative are on full display, particularly when you play her scenario. Despite working against Wesker (her new employer) by helping Leon kill fellow operative Krauser, she still delivers the goods in the end - the Las Plagas sample. HOWEVER, if you check out "Ada's Report" you discover she was playing Wesker as well, giving him the lesser sample, and keeping the dominant one for herself.

In Resident Evil 6, Ada is still sexy and dangerous in 2013 and I think her actions there cement her status as a crazy awesome femme fatale. You never really know what side she's on besides her own but she's still benevolent enough to risk her neck to help others if the situation calls for it. Antiheroine she may be, but if you really don't think she's also a femme fatale, maybe you should give that sultry voice another listen.

1. Catwoman
If Ada's routine of frequently working for shadowy employers, doublecrossing them, making a point of saying she's only out for herself but still going out of her way to sometimes help others, constantly flirting with the male hero while at the same time baffling and even hampering him, all the while going about it in a confident and sexy way seems familiar, it's because she stole it from Catwoman.

As I said in the intro, femme fatales have been around about as long as human beings have been on this planet but it was Selina Kyle who finally perfected the art. First appearing way back in Batman #1 (note: this is not Batman and Robin's first appearance, as comic book sages like myself know - that would be Detective Comics #27) in the spring of 1940, she's been a major part of the Dark Knight's mythos ever since although she actually disappeared from all Bat books between 1954 and 1966 - most likely because her moral ambiguity paired with her overt sexuality would have made her a prime target for the Comics Code introduced in the mid fifties. This was easily a low point in Batman's publishing history, as well as many other comic characters, both major and minor. Most stories were lighthearted and goofy fare, moving away from Batman's dark roots and it's not at all surprising in retrospect to note that Catwoman wasn't present for any of it.

Anyway, once Batman returned to his roots and the comics started getting good again, everyone's favourite cat burglar-turned-sometimes-crimefighter really began to shine. She's become such an enduring symbol of a femme fatale that most people who haven't even read any comics know that Catwoman is a bad, bad girl. But still good.

Like Ada, she makes for a pretty good antiheroine, always playing it cool and letting others know that she plays by her own rules and will only risk her neck if she sees some profit in it - although at times we've seen she can be heroic just for the sake of doing the right thing (but she'll never admit to it).

From the sexy costume to her endless flirtation with Gotham's staunch defender (she's about the only character who can really throw him off his game - quite a feat when you consider the types of characters he often deals with) to her overall badassness, Catwoman is the femme fatale that all others should look up to.

Awesome Fictional Brands

5) Blammo
As seen on the incomparable Ren and Stimpy Show, Blammo was the brand behind the greatest children's toy of all time ... LOG! An obvious parody of one-note toys like a Slinky, Blammo's toy also requires ample imagination to enjoy, and the catchy jingle was quick to inform us of all the ways it could be fun. You can remember every word of that song and you know it. Don't lie to me, goddammit.

Later episodes had commercials for slight variations of Log, like dress up versions similar to a Mr. Potato Head. But the original unadorned Log remains a classic fake commercial for a fake product from a fake brand, and a tribute to the simple toys of days gone by.

4) Spishak
Following the lead of Saturday Night Live, the variety comedy show Mad TV would often include fake commercials between skits. Unlike SNL, however, the products in these commercials were often from the same preposterous company.

The ads usually followed one of two patterns: A) a compilation of product demonstrations that got progressively more ridiculous, or B) a Spishak spokesman suddenly appearing in someone's home to advertise the product in a mini-infomercial. What sort of products? Well, anything from a combination knife-spoon-fork, to a toy oven for kids that requires the child to disconnect the gas line from their real oven to use. Each item was a hazardous, nonsensical, defective mess.

3) Red Apple Cigarettes
Occasionally a director will tie together their body of work with reccurring characters, locations, or brands even when the plots and styles of their movies are vastly different (eg. Kevin Smith). Red Apple Cigarettes represent a key connective tissue for the filmography of Quentin Tarantino as they appear in nearly every movie he's directed or co-written.

Sometimes the cigarettes will be smoked by a character, or other times appear as an ad in passing. Most recently in Django Unchained it can be spotted as a pouch of Red Apple Tobacco. These fake cigarettes are great because they are one of the many ways that Tarantino has pulled his movies together into the same crazy universe, and at this point finding the Red Apple has become a hidden gem for movie fans to discover.


2) Krusty Brand
While the Simpsons' universe has many memorable brands like Duff Beer, the greatest line-up of products come from the world's biggest shill: Krusty the Clown. He is the iconic face of a gigantic empire of TV shows, fast food restaurants, amusement parks, and an endless array of shoddy household products.

Every bit of merchandise stamped with the "Krusty Seal of Approval" is poorly thought out, cheaply made, and often dangerous. Krusty Brand is wonderful satirical take on the corporate greed we see all the time when celebrities slap their name or likeness on all manner of pointless shit. So when a cross between Bozo the Clown and Ronald McDonald is selling home pregnancy kits, frosted cereals, personal swabs, imitation gruel, handguns, cough syrup, cigars, and facial hair trimmers it's equal parts familiar and hilarious.

1) Acme
The Acme Corporation is a huge supplier of crazy bullshit in the Looney Tunes universe, and while the word "acme" comes from the Greek word for "zenith" or "prime", the products bearing that name are often lacking quality. What do they sell? A better question is what the hell don't they sell? Explosives, anvils, rockets, giant slingshots, giant magnets, escape kits, earthquake pills, the list goes on forever. The majority of their profit comes from Wile E. Coyote no matter how often their products fail miserably. You have to assume the prices must be amazing since he keeps placing orders for anti-gravity boots and fake tunnel paint instead of buying ... you know... food.

In fact Acme as a generic brand has been appearing in all manner of television shows, comics, movies, and cartoons for more than 90 years. You can find the familiar name in silent films of the 20's, episodes of I Love Lucy, and - my personal favorite - the film Who Framed Roger Rabbit with the epic showdown at the Acme Warehouse. As a child that warehouse overwhelmed my imagination with possibilities, and to this day I still want to see more of the gadgets and weapons scattered around the place.

The name Acme represents more than just an insatiable desire for Roadrunner meat, it represents generations of wild ideas and preposterous products. Whenever you needed a ridiculous prop, weapon, or device for your character to get their hands on, it was easily explained away by the good ol' Acme Corp. Who on earth would produce a jet-powered pogo stick and over-night ship it to the middle of the desert?

Acme, of course.

Shane's Favourite Movies of 2012

It's that time of year again. Time to look back and relive some favourite cinematic experiences of the year. Sadly, I'm still frantically trying to catch up on all the films I wanted to see from 2012.

I dropped the annual "Most Hated Movies of the Year" list a while back, but I'll quickly mention that Project X was the shittiest movie I saw in 2012. Here's your trophy, Project X, for being annoying, frustrating, and devoid of entertainment or value. Aside from that I felt it was a strong year of films and I struggled making a final decision on the top 5. Here we go...

5) Skyfall
Absolutely one of my favourite Bond films ever. Great pacing, solid action, and f'ing gorgeous cinematography. In fact, it might be the best looking film of 2012 for its beautiful shots.

Judi Dench and Javier Bardem are both really enjoyable to watch, and for people who think there was too much M in the movie ... you're crazy. Plus Bardem was a sufficiently creepy villain, who felt truly menacing. It was refreshing to see a Bond film where I actually felt tense. Daniel Craig is not the perfect Bond we've seen in the past, important characters can be in danger, and actions actually have meaningful consequences. I much prefer that over 007 outracing space lasers and whatnot.






4) The Dark Knight Rises

First of all, The Dark Knight Rises doesn't reach the same level as the films before it. How could it really? Batman Begins was like a comic book dream come to life, and The Dark Knight broke through the comic movie shell and was an astounding film in practically every way.

Anne Hathaway was wonderful as Catwoman, and it was great to see Bane living up to his imposing reputation (though I don't know if I'm sold on that voice yet, as memorable as it was). Like the previous film, TDKR felt like it was compacting two films worth of story into one, but I have to say that it didn't work as well this time around. At times the story felt disjointed and the editing made the film feel like a montage rather than a natural flow from one scene to the next. However, the chaos and destruction that Gotham suffers was exciting, and watching Batman take back the city is enough to give me goosebumps.

The biggest praise I can give TDKR is that it wraps up the trilogy in the most satisfying way possible. I may have had some problems with the film, but believe me when I say that I love it. Even the worst Nolan Batman film is leagues ahead of the previous Batman franchise. I suppose I'm just greedy, but maybe some disappointment came from knowing the ride is over.

3) Moonrise Kingdom
In a world where kids are mature, and adults are childish, a strange love story plays out in the wilderness as two troubled kids run away together. I would describe this movie as an adorable comedy. It's got everything you'd want from a Wes Anderson film; the bright vibrant design, quirky and flawed characters, an almost mathematical approach to cinematography and camera movement, and a completely charming atmosphere.

I wish the third act was as strong as the rest of the film, but aside from that it's a great movie. The kind that I can see myself watching numerous times in the future. Even if you don't consider yourself a Wes Anderson fan, I would give Moonrise Kingdom a shot. It's funny and charming enough to appeal to everyone.

2) Django Unchained
My immediate reaction to Django was, that wasn't quite what I expected, and I thought at first that I was disappointed. But the more I thought about it, the more I loved it. The characters and story are compelling, there's a wonderful mix of comedy, drama, and action. As you would expect it pays homage to spaghetti westerns, but there are some seriously amazing performances here, with DiCaprio standing out for his intense portrayal of plantation owner, Calvin Candie.

The movie is always teetering between charming Southern hospitality and vicious bloodlust. Like a lot of Tarantino's films, there are long scenes of suspense that erupt in a climax of exaggerated violence. It's simply spectacular. In this world every human is a pressurized canister of blood ready to burst at any moment. It was a lot of fun, and I can't wait to watch it again.

1) The Avengers

Easily the most fun I've had at the cinema last year. I saw all the individual superhero films that lead up to this collaboration, and when I finally got to see Avengers assemble ... it was a spectacle that filled me with genuine glee. I haven't been this delighted by superheroes fighting side by side since The Incredibles. Don't get me wrong, I love the current Batman trilogy, but Nolan's Batman is an entirely different beast from the Marvel movies. They are both wonderful for different reasons. You could compare them as "gritty comic realism" and "flashy comic fantasy".

The movie is strongly written with excellent pacing and truly hilarious moments. There's a fine balance between the comic titans, giving them all ample opportunity to enjoy the spotlight. Characters that I expected to be lesser "filler" heroes managed to win me over by the end. It was refreshing to see each character shine, work together creatively, and behave in ways that seem true to their personality. Plus, I goddamn love the Hulk in this movie. It only took three tries, but they finally nailed it.

All in all, Avengers did everything I hoped for. Many other films in 2012 left me with nagging issues, but The Avengers got right to the point and delivered a great action hero experience. The only thing that bummed me out was knowing I'll have to wait for the next team-up.

Best Batman Artists

As he's easily one of the most iconic and enduring characters in all of comics, Batman has been drawn by a LOT of different artists over the decades.  Coming up with the five best to do so is basically impossible but it's also fun to try. Naturally, a lot of good artists didn't make the cut but I will try to mention them where I can.

Probably the most celebrated artist of Batman's earliest days is Dick Sprang - whose square-jawed, barrel-chested Batman, while not very anatomically accurate, was very visually striking and helped lay the groundwork for all depictions that followed. (Although it should be noted there were others before him.) Nowadays the style can be criticized as being overly cartoony and simplistic but what it comes down to is that it is still unmistakenly Batman.

In the mid-sixties Carmine Infantino introduced a Batman that was more realistic-looking and better fit the stories that were being told, as Batman moved away from the goofier stuff he'd been involved in in the fifties. It's not a look that I particularly enjoy myself though. It just wasn't dynamic enough for my tastes. And the way he drew the mouth actually kinda bugs me - too much emphasis on the lips or something. But that's just nit-picking, really.

It really hurt to not be able to include the late Gene Colan for the work he did in the first half of the eighties. In the seventies he'd been the artist for Marvel's Tomb Of Dracula series and he really brought that shadowy, horror style to Batman and Gotham which worked extremely well. He really keyed on the idea that when Batman suits up and goes out he becomes a sort of creature of the night.

I could go on of course but let's get to the list, where some of those who didn't get entries are at least mentioned.

5. Tony Daniel
I really wanted to put Andy Kubert, son of the legendary Joe Kubert and brother of Adam, in this spot but ultimately decided he hasn't done quite enough Batman so far to warrant it. So I went with the artist whose Batman looks the most like Kubert's to me - Tony Daniel. He's also the artist who took over for Kubert working with writer Grant Morrison. He drew Batman: R.I.P. as well as the followup Batman: Battle for the Cowl. When The New 52 started, he was the artist as well as writer for the first twelve issues of Detective Comics, plus one annual and an issue #0.

Drawing with a very noir-influenced style, Daniel has to be the most definitive Batman artist of the last few years at least. I especially love how he does the cape - in some shots it looks almost endless as it flows out behind our dark hero. It reminds me a bit of Tim Sale's version of the character, which is a good thing.

I also really like that Daniel has a real feel for Batman's physique and how it differs from other characters like Nightwing (especially important given he's drawn Dick Grayson as Batman - please note that the picture here is of the Bruce Wayne version). Batman's official height and weight is 6'2, 210 - he's a big, broad-shouldered guy and obviously quite physically powerful, but he's still lean enough to be very quick. I feel Daniel's Batman conveys this in every frame.

4. Marshall Rogers
OK, so I just omitted Kubert because I said he doesn't have a big enough Batman body of work to draw from and now I'm picking Rogers - a guy who actually didn't do that much himself. But it's just so memorable and influential that I can't overlook it. While he would do a couple miniseries and one-shots in the years afterward, it's his short run on Detective Comics with writer Steve Englehart in 1977 and 78 that earned him a place in Batman history as one of its greatest artists. Included in that run was the famous story The Laughing Fish. Marshall's look for the character directly influenced both the 1989 film Batman and Batman: The Animated Series.

Style-wise, Rogers was somewhat close to Neal Adams insofar as he was definitely a part of the movement by artists of the later sixties and throughout the seventies to depict a more realistic-looking Dark Knight. I would say that what probably sets him apart the most was just how intense his Batman always looked. Usually he would have a grimace or scowl on his face as he dispensed justice. Batman no longer looked cartoony by this point and Rogers could make him look downright scary.

Although he's a renowned artist for more than just his contribution to Batman and has worked on many different titles throughout his lengthy career, I think it's safe to say that it will always be considered  his greatest artistic achievement.

 

3. Jim Lee
Apparently I'm throwing all my rules out the window because once again we have an artist who hasn't actually done a ton of Batman, although now that he's drawing the newest incarnation of Justice League (The New 52), we'll get to see a lot more of it.

I'm almost at a loss for what to say about Lee's Batman - everything the man draws just looks awesome. Probably well before he actually drew the character in any official capacity anyone who was familiar with his existing work knew that he would do a great job with it (for the record, I also believe he is one of the best artists to draw Superman as well). It's no surprise that his first work - the twelve-part storyline Hush, written by Jeph Loeb - sold very well and was also critically adored (for the most part). He would later team with Frank Miller for the much-maligned, often delayed All Star Batman and Robin and while I find Miller's writing laughable in some parts, the art is of course beautiful. It's very difficult to find Batman looking better than he does there. In fact, his art is so admired that DC would go on to release a special version of Hush called Batman: Hush Unwrapped which features Lee's original pencil work before the inking and colouring was added

I think the main aspect Lee's Batman conveys is power. He looks like a Greek statue come to life wearing a mask and cape; just incredibly physically imposing without being over the top and unrealistic. Earlier I criticized Infantino's Batman for not being dynamic-looking; well, Lee's is the absolute epitome of dynamic. His art in general just has that look sometimes described as "leaping off the page" and with Batman that's definitely the case.

2. Norm Breyfogle
By this point you must be asking if the most celebrated Batman artist of the eighties - Jim Aparo (who actually started in the seventies) - is getting a spot here. While I do think he's very important to Batman's legacy and did a great job, the answer is no and it's really just a case of personal preference.

For my Number Two slot I'm going with a guy you probably haven't even heard of and it's my belief (and some others somewhere must share it) that Norm Breyfogle is criminally underrated and underappreciated (I've decided that's a real word, yes) for his contribution to Batman. It's highly possible that it's because he's one of the first Batman artists I was exposed to when I first began seriously reading comics that he ranks so high. But even nostalgic feelings aside, I just love what he brings to the character and his habitat, Gotham City.

In one respect, Breyfogle's Batman is every bit as unrealistic-looking as Sprang's. But in a much different way. Throughout the late eighties and early nineties, he gave us a totally trippy, twisted-looking Batman. As this was the Dark Age of Comics, it shouldn't be too surprising that a Batman artist was doing characters with exaggerated proportions but if you really look at it, his style really wasn't comparable to someone's like Rob Liefeld. Breyfogle's trademark was faces with insane, distorted expressions which came across as dramatic rather than silly. In some ways his style was a lot like Colan's but more sharp and angular. And no artist so far has drawn a Gotham as close to what I imagine as he has - flashy and grand in some areas while grimy and claustrophobic in others. And somehow terrifying in all of them.

Breyfogle proved that the realistic style that had become the trend could be broken away from without sacrificing drama and seriousness. In many ways his style could even enhance those elements. His pairing with writer Steven Grant might be my favourite creative team in all of Batman and can be seen at its best in the early issues of Shadow of The Bat. He was also the first artist to draw the Tim Drake version of Robin (finally a costume that wasn't totally embarrassing!) and co-created villains The Ventriloquist and Mr. Zsasz.

1. Neal Adams
I of course wasn't around when Neal Adams first drew Batman so I can only speculate on what my response to it back then would have been. I think that if I had been reading Batman comics steadily before Adams's entry, I would have been deliriously pleased upon first viewing his work. I believe I would have felt as though I was really seeing the character for the very first time outside of what I'd always imagined. That I was finally viewing Batman's archetype, that is, his form as described by Plato.

Am I going overboard in my praise here? I suppose it's possible but I just can't help it. To me, Adams's Batman is almost perfect. His covers have to be the best there are. They evoke such a cinematic feel that later artists such as Lee, Aparo, David Finch and even Frank Miller would strive to imitate it in their own ways. Following up on Infantino's Batman, here was one with much more defined lines and sharper edges. His movements were much more fluid on the page. In fact sometimes when I find myself looking at a particularly large panel featuring Adams's Batman I can almost see it move.

Adams was part of a generation of comic book artists who helped emphatically declare that their work on the medium was far from throwaway fare and was a legitimate form of art. Jim Sterenko's work over at Marvel is another example. Both would use photographs as guides for some of their drawing, paying keen attention to both anatomy and architecture. And like Colan, Adams had a background in horror-themed comics and brought some of those elements to Batman.

Adams drew Batman in such a realistic yet still otherwordly style that it perfectly encapsulated what comic book superheroes are supposed to be - characters of fantasy who perform incredible deeds but who we could still somehow imagine as being part of our "real" world as well. It's exactly because of an artist like Adams that I can never really accept seeing any actor play Batman in a movie - no real person or real costume could ever live up to the ideal he created.

MINI-LIST: Cole's Sappy Songs

OK, we all have songs that we're a little embarrassed to admit that we like. Many of them because they're overly sweet and sappy. Let's face it, in the world or popular music, love has always been and probably always will be the number one subject. There are thousands upon thousands, if not millions, of songs out there that are either about how great love is, how much it sucks or even some combination of the two.

So if we're talking "overly sappy" what exactly is the criteria? I'm not sure I can really explain it. But I will say I think there are plenty of songs out there about love that are very poetic and come across as not at all embarrassing. I'm talking about songs like Elton John's "Your Song" - obviously it's gushy in its way but I think most people would agree that it's also very tasteful and heartfelt. So songs that seem like that, to me at least, were not considered. I think.

But I do love every song on this list and probably dozens of others that could be accused of being sappy as well. I figure doing a list like this may be somewhat cathartic for me. And, if not, at least you get to laugh at me a little.

5. Eternal Flame - The Bangles
Haha! A chick sings this song - do you sing along to it? Yes, I always do. And how do you feel when you do that?  Kind of like a fairy princess. What's the sappiest line?  I'll go with: "Say my name, sun shines through the rain".  Remember when Courtney Galloway sang this at the talent show in Grade Seven? I do. But I'm wondering how the hell you know about it. Can you really hit the high note at the end? Of course I can. I'm Cole, damnit.





4. Your Call - Secondhand Serenade
So how would you describe this band's music? Dashboard Confessional 2.0 Dashboard Confessional is  also on this list, isn't it? Ummm....noooo. Sappiest line? Definitely "Cause I was born to tell you I love you". So does the video for this song on youtube have an endless amount of retarded comments left by lovesick teens? You know it!  Are you secretly a fourteen year old girl? Prove it, bitch.











3. Lost in Love - Air Supply
Air Supply?!?! Are you fucking kidding me? I wish I was, I really do. Those guys are the kings of sap! How did you narrow your choice down? True, it was tough. Besides "Lost in Love", there's "The One That You Love", "All Out of Love" and of course, "Making Love Out of Nothing at All". Sappiest line? Oh, man, probably all of them. But how about the fadeout which is: "Now I'm lost, lost in love, lost in love, lost in love/  Now I'm lost, lost in love, lost in love, lost in love/ Lost in love, lost in love, lost in love/ Lost in love, lost in love, lost in love" How do you not choke on all that syrup? By washing it down with a cold glass of tacks. You do realize that this one entry has destroyed all your credibility? My Internet credibility has been ruined? Whatever shall I do?

2. Konstantine - Something Corporate
Something Corporate? Are they really that sappy? Not usually, no. I didn't even want to include this one at first because I figured it was in the same class as romantic songs that aren't embarrassing. So what made you change your mind? I didn't, really. I'm not embarrassed to like this song. But it's over nine freaking minutes long! How can you defend that? Oh, it is? I hadn't noticed. So what's its sappiest line?  It's a tossup between: "It's to dying in another's arms and why I had to try it" and "You spin around me like a dream we played out on this movie screen". So I'm guessing this one has some deep personal meaning for you, huh? I'll never tell.

1. Hands Down - Dashboard Confessional
How old were you when this song was released? Somewhere around twenty. Liking it then might be forgiveable but you're a lot closer to thirty now - what's your excuse? Meh, I don't really have one, I guess. But Michael Stipe likes the song too so there. Can you pick a sappiest line? With great difficulty - nearly every line qualifies. But let's go with: "My heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury, or wear as jewelry - whichever you'd prefer". Another song reminding you of past love, huh? Yes, specifically the dates I went on with my first real girlfriend as a teen. Do you have any dignity remaining at this point? Possibly. I mean Ryan has even heard me passionately sing along to this one possibly more than once in my car. And we're still friends.