Friday, November 28, 2008

Movies That Make You Want A Sword

5. Any Zorro Movie
The original man in black (take that, Cash) and original roof-hopping masked vigilante (and that, Batman) was a great rider. He was also a pretty nifty acrobat. But what made The Fox legendary was his swordplay. He was so deft and fancy he routinely made his opponents look like idiots. I don't think there have been any truly bad Zorro movies. Not mainstream ones anyway. The thing they all have in common is that after watching them, they leave me wanting to dance around like a fool: en guard! parry, parry, thrust!

4. Highlander (1986)
Mostly what this film taught me was that you just aren't going to get anything done without a sword. Guns are cool and all but you've got to decapitate to take care of business.

3. The Muskateer (2001)
Sure it's in no way historically accurate or realistic but it definitely makes swordfighting look awesome. The final fight, complete with falling ladders, is not to be missed.

2. Ninja Scroll (1993)
I guess everyone wants to be a ninja. I know I do. There are some dazzling shots of Jube's katana flashing in the sunlight as he battles his foes that really show skilled swordsmanship for what it is: poetry in motion. The battle in the bamboo forest with the blind warrior is pretty breathtaking. Always remember to have a thin cord attached to your sword's hilt so that you never lose it.

1. Kill Bill Volume 1 (2003)
This one really needs no explanation but hey, it's my job. Katanas are definitely the coolest kinds of swords. Even their sheaths are badass and play a part in the fighting. You've got to love how in this movie, being part of the Yakuza means that in addition to getting all the free pizza you want, you also get a katanna that fits right onto your motorcycle. Unfortunately it also means getting dismembered by The Bride and her superior Hatori Hanzo (spellcheck) sword. Like many movies before it, but perhaps in even better fashion, Kill Bill One drives home the point (sorry, couldn't resist) that there is no cooler or more personal a way to kill someone than with a sword.


Shane said...

I totally agree with this list. And I'll have you know that anytime I watch Kill Bill, I can't sleep until I cleave something in two.

Very McToaster said...

I notice that 3 of the 5 movies are with Katanas... someone have a Japanese influance? I think this list should be redone without bias

Cole D'Arc said...

thought there are only 2 with Katanas

Sam said...

I fail to notice the swords in Ninja Scroll, what with all the juicy talk about gold.

Cole D'Arc said...

the gold really does take centre stage, yes.