As I return from a four month hiatus where I inexplicably dropped off the radar, I come to you with a format that I hope my listing brethren will approve of - the Mini-List!
For each entry in the Mini-List five quick questions will be answered to get across the essential information for a topic that doesn't really require excessive coverage. It's for the list enthusiast on the go! So I guess it'll be like Go-gurt but cooler.
Since getting my iPhone late last year, I've tried out a ridiculous amount of games for it. As one would assume, a cellphone isn't really the best platform for gaming, but there were a handful that kept my attention and brought me back again and again. Only games unique to the iPhone allowed for this list, so nothing like Pac-Man or Plants vs. Zombies, for example. Here are the games that I didn't delete immediately, and can actually recommend.
How do I play? The objective is simple, race down an ever-changing course as far as possible avoiding obstacles. Does it look good? It's surprisingly crisp and appealing for having such simple graphics. I just drank eight beer, can I still play? No complicated controls here, just tilt the phone side to side to steer. Why is it so addictive? Because you're constantly trying to beat your own high score. It's easy enough for anyone to pick up and play, but difficult enough to offer a challenge. Any extra features? Yeah, hand it to someone on shrooms.
How do I play? Protect your castle against the invading hordes, and take out the opposing castle post haste. God help us, another tower defense game? Not quite. It's all about deciding how to take out the enemy. Knock down the castle with trebuchets, or arrows, or simply steal their flag. Can I upgrade stuff? You bet your ass you can. How many levels? Unlimited, and they keep getting harder. Why is it so addictive? Hurling boulders at soldiers just never gets old.
How do I play? It's skee-ball. Is there any strategy involved? Tilting the phone while the ball is in the air gives it some spin. And aiming for the glowing holes can earn you precious multipliers. Did you just say 'glowing holes'? Yes. Let's move on. Why is it so addictive? Not only is it skee-ball in your pocket, but as you play you earn tickets to spend on shitty prizes, just like in real life! Can I try? Sure. But if you beat my high score, I'll stab you in the lung.
2. Space Miner: Space Ore Bust
How do I play? Explore zones of space in pursuit of riches by blasting everything in your path. What's it like? It's like Asteroids with a story and RPG elements. How are the controls? Like I said ... it's like asteroids, but that's all part of the fun. Why is it so addictive? Upgrading your ship, hidden items, in-game achievements. The list goes on. Aren't you ashamed you spent 10 hours on a cellphone game? Not nearly as ashamed as the 8 of those hours probably spent playing on the toilet.
1. Angry Birds
How do I play? Use a giant slingshot to hurl kamikaze birds into frail structures to kill all the pigs that have wronged bird-kind. Is this a puzzle game? Sort of. It's more like a physics simulation combined with crack. Are there different angry birds? Yes, and they all have special abilities to help bash your way to the swine. Angle your shots well and make sure not a bird-soul is wasted. Why is it so addictive? Probably because even when you fail a level you're having fun, and trying again takes half a second. What's the best part? The hilarious sounds each bird makes as it's launched to its glorious death.