I guess we have ourselves a tradition. Here’s – in my opinion – the best announcements of E3 2010… as a MINI-LIST!
As a side note, of my Best Announcements of E3 2009 list, only one of the games will actually see a release in 2010. Square Enix claims Final Fantasy XIV will be out this year, but I’ll believe it when I see it. That gives you an idea of how the video game industry moves. You’ll also notice that there’s only one non-Nintendo title on this list. Well, unless you’re excited by Xbox 360 and PS3 trying to imitate the Wii’s motion controls with Kinect and Playstation Move, then there wasn’t too much else to see. Sorry, Halo and Gears of War fanboys.
But yes, on with the list!
What’s the big deal? It’s a new Donkey Kong Country, for God’s sake. Do we have stupid characters like Baby Kong and Cranky Old Bitty That Cuts You Off on The Highway In Her Huge Chrysler Fifth Avenue Kong? No, and what’s wrong with you, Invisible Question Man? We’re back to the roots with Diddy and Donkey! Is it 2D, sidescrolling? Oh yes, with parallel layers. Donkey and Diddy can make their way to the background or foreground whenever they need to. I guess Rare is back and better than ever? Nope, Rare still sucks. This one is being developed by Retro Studios – the guys that brought us the Metroid Prime Trilogy. Most importantly, will there be Mine Carts? Oh, you’d best believe.
Didn’t you mention this in your list last year? Yes I did. So why bring it up again? This is 2010! Last year all they had to show was a teaser poster and there wasn’t even a title. This year they have gameplay! Albeit early, under-developed gameplay, but heck, Link was swinging his sword in perfect 1:1 connection with the Wii Motion Plus! Oh, man… is it cell-shaded again? Yes, but not like Wind Waker. This is a more colourful style, and besides, Link’s all grown up… and no freakin’ boats! Please, for all that’s holy, Tingle isn’t in it, is he? It’s too early to tell, but you could probably start fashioning a noose now, just in case. Will we still be hearing about this at E3 2011? Probably.
How could Valve possibly top Portal!? Well, how about new gameplay elements like physics-changing paint that can give you super speed? Huh, what about that? Is that hilarious, and completely harmless, GLaDOS still up to no good? Oh yes, GLaDOS is back and this time there’s several of her. Those personality cores you met at the end of Portal? Well they’ve all split off and created their own identities this time around. Companion cube, companion cube, companion cube? Honestly, I didn’t see anything about our best friend ever, but they’d have to be completely brainless not to bring the Weighted Companion Cube back in a big way. Did Chell escape in the last game and do we have a new protagonist? Chell did not escape. If you’ve seen any of the updated additions to Portal on Steam then you’d know they altered the ending so that Chell is recaptured. Portal 2 is set 100 years in the future and Chell has been kept on ice. Will there be cake? Oh yes, and science.
You idiot, Goldeneye came out in 1997. Are you playing tricks on us? I’m not messing with you. An all new Goldeneye 007 for the Nintendo Wii, with updated graphics, gameplay and online multiplayer! O RLY!? OMG, is Brosnan making a return!? Actually, no. This game is being remade in the new style of Bond film and featuring Daniel Craig as 007 to help it mesh with the new films. Well, Rare is at least doing something worth a damn, right? Ha, again, no. This one is being developed by Eurocom and published by Activision. I think Rare made some shitty Facebook game for Xbox 360, though. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. What about Trevelyan and Natalya? Are they making an appearance? Trevelyan has been shown, and no, before you ask, it’s not Sean Bean. As to whether we’ll have to return to Hell and cart Natalya’s ass around the Bunker or the Jungle is yet to be seen. Will we finally get an All Bonds Code? Yes, and Sasquatch will also be a playable character.
3D without glasses? Oh, please. It’s real and apparently, it’s amazing. Imagine Mario jumping off the screen at you? Well, from all accounts that’s just the kind of thing you’ll see. Isn’t this just another stupid version of the DS? No, this is a full-on successor. If you don’t recall, Nintendo used the Gameboy brand name from 1989 right up until 2005 with the release of the Gameboy Micro. This has all new graphical output – comparable to the PS2 and Wii – and will have new titles as well as backwards compatibility with the DS. Oh, and you'll be able to take 3D pictures. Yeah, that just happened. Are the games going to be focused on casual players, like usual with the Nintendo? I don’t think you’ve been paying attention. Nintendo is definitely focusing their efforts on the hardcore and regular gamer. Did you see more Cooking Mama this year? No. You saw Zelda, Kirby, Donkey Kong, Goldeneye and Kid Icarus, carnsarnit. To top that, some of the games that were announced for 3DS were Resident Evil Revelations, Star Fox 64 3D, Paper Mario 3D and Metal Gear Solid 3D: Snake Eater “The Naked Sample” – I know, what a title – for crying out loud. Okay, sure Nintendogs + Cats was there, but you have to give Shiggy Pop something goofy to play with. Lemme guess, I’ll have to buy all the old Nintendo classics again, won’t I? Well, if you want them in 3D, then yes. But why wouldn’t you want them in 3D, fool!? At the show Nintendo had Yoshi’s Story, Mega Man 2 and Legend of Zelda up and running, and rumor has it that they looked awesome in pop-up, 3D graphics. Other games shown in a preview demo included Castlevania, Urban Champion, Kid Icarus, Smash Ping Pong, Mario Bros., Super Mario Bros., Tennis, Metroid and Mystery of Murasame Castle. Okay, I'm sold. Will we see this in 2010? Sadly, no. The President of Nintendo of America – Reggie Fils-Aime - announced it wouldn’t make its way out until 2011. That being said, just about every other huge announcement the Big N had this year is intended for 2010, including Goldeneye 007, Donkey Kong Country Returns, Metroid: Other M, Kirby: Epic Yarn, etc, etc, etc.
Now that’s how you do an E3, Microsoft and Sony.